Ephebophile's Lolita Complex

Why must we celebrate birthdays??

Posted in Uncategorized by ephebophile on May 17, 2010

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age.”

-Robert Frost


Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang Happy Birthday.”

-Stephen Wright


From our birthday, until we die,
Is but the winking of an eye.”
– William Butler Yeats


Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.”
– Mark Twain



Well I hate birthdays, because all my friends feel obligated to give me a gift and their attention, and make me special… when I am anything but. I seriously blame women’s overarching attachment and desire to coddle their offspring for creating Pomp and Circumstance needlessly. It was taken to an extreme by a very wicked woman, named Semiramis… and she started a false religious tradition that affects us to this very day.

So why do we celebrate Christmas on 25th December? Some people say it’s as good a time as any, and it doesn’t really matter when Jesus was born as long as we celebrate his birth at some time.

Jesus would not have celebrated his own birthday because it wasn’t a Jewish custom to do so. It never has been, except insofar as they have picked up the idea from the Gentiles.

However, if we are going to celebrate the birthday of Jesus, December 25th is the very worst time to do it. The reason is that we are not celebrating the birthday of the real Jesus of Nazareth at all, but the birthday of Nimrod, Osiris, Jupiter, and all the other re-incarnations of the child-god of the Babylonian religious system, including the baby "Jesus" who is held in the arms of the Roman Catholic Madonna.

To understand this, we have to go back to Genesis 10:8-10.

And Cush begat Nimrod: he began to be a mighty one in the earth. He was a mighty hunter before (in opposition to) the Lord: wherefore it is said, Even as Nimrod the mighty hunter before (in opposition to) the Lord. And the beginning of his kingdom was Babel, and Erech, and Accad, and Calneh, in the land of Shinar.

The Bible does not identify Nimrod’s mother, or his date of birth, but Egyptian and Babylonian clay tablet antiquities identify his mother as Semiramis, and his birthday is celebrated on 25th December. Sometimes Semiramis is referred to as the mother of Nimrod, and sometimes as his wife, leading to the belief that Nimrod married his mother.

The Biblical reference to Nimrod as a "mighty hunter" is important because he was seen as the Saviour of the ancient world for that very reason. People were living in small, scattered villages with little protection from wild animals. Nimrod was more than just a hunter, he was also a charismatic figure who could gather people together to build walled cities where they could live in safety. They were obedient to him as their leader, and considered that their loss of independence was a price worth paying for the safety that Nimrod and his kingdom offered.

There is nothing in the Bible about the death of Nimrod, but the ancient traditions suggest that he died a violent death. One tradition says that he was killed by a wild animal. Another says that Shem killed him because he had led the people into the worship of Baal.

His wife-mother, Semiramis, who had risen to greatness on his account, was not going to disappear into obscurity because of his death. Instead she pronounced him to be a god, so that she herself became a goddess. She produced another son, and proclaimed him to be the resurrected Nimrod. This was not difficult, because she was so promiscuous she produced many children whose father could not be identified. She proclaimed that she had gone down to the world of the dead, rescued Nimrod and brought him back.

Thus began the worship of Semiramis and the child-god, and the whole paraphanalia of the Babylonian religious system. After the decline of Babylon, the religion was transported to Egypt where they worshipped Isis and her son Osiris (otherwise known as Horus). The same mother and child deities appeared in Pagan Rome as Fortuna and Jupiter, and in Greece as Ceres, the Great Mother, with the babe at her breast, or as Irene, the goddess of Peace, with the boy Plutus in her arms.

The Roman Pagans used to celebrate the birthday of their child-god on 25th December, and the Roman Catholic Church sought to win over as many people as possible to nominal Catholicism by proclaiming the same day to be the birthday of Jesus. So the Pagans had no difficulty worshipping the Catholic Madonna and child. They were seen as yet another manifestation of the Queen of Heaven and her son. The Pagans made no compromises, they didn’t need to, they just continued their Pagan worship within the church.

While it’s easy to knock the Catholic Church because some of the catholic people engage in Maryolatry, the Protestant rebels cannot be left off the hook. The Protestant Reformation dispensed with only a part of the Babylonian system of worship. The celebration of Christmas, inherited from the Roman Catholic Church, via Pagan Rome, via Egypt, via Babylon, is still practiced as the most important event in the Protestant Christian calendar, so from that point of view the Protestants are as much into Paganism as the Catholics

The Christmas tree is specifically a Babylonian symbol. On Christmas Eve the Yule Log is thrown onto the fire, representing death and destruction. On Christmas Day there is the tree, covered in decorations and surrounded with presents, representing new life, the resurrected Nimrod.

It is also a violation of Jeremiah 10:2-5 where it is denounced as a heathen idol:

Thus saith the Lord, Learn not the way of the heathen, and be not dismayed at the signs of heaven; for the heathen are dismayed at them. For the customs of the people are vain: for one cutteth a tree out of the forest, the work of the hands of the workman, with the axe. They deck it with silver and with gold; they fasten it with nails and with hammers, that it move not. They are upright as the palm tree, but speak not: they must needs be borne, because they cannot go. Be not afraid of them; for they cannot do evil, neither also is it in them to do good.


So.. just tread carefully on your next birthday… I know I do.




Enough with the history lesson, lets have some trivia.




I have a number of co-celebrants for my birthday of May 17th

For example:

1956 Sugar Ray Leonard (boxer)   (Winner)
1956 Bob Saget (actor, host)        (Loser)

Here a more detailed list of winners.

1965 Trent Reznor (singer) (Cool Winner)

1961 Enya (singer) (Winner)

1955 Bill Paxton (actor) (Winner)

1940 Taj Mahal (Henry St. Claire Fredericks) (Blues Musician and songwriter) (Winner)

1936 Dennis Hopper (actor) (Cool Winner)

1932 Jackie (John) McLean (jazz musician) (Winner)

1911 Maureen O’Sullivan (actress) (Hot Winner)

And Losers…

1970 Jordan Knight (singer – new kids on the block) (Loser)

1902 Ayatolla Ruhollah Khomeini (Iranian political and religious leader) (OMG Seriously? Super-loser)


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